What Proverbs 27 Teaches Me About True Friendship (Proverbs 27)

A Few Thoughts to Consider

Do you have friends who sharpen you?

Proverbs 27 says a lot about friendship and the kinds of people we surround ourselves with. Verse 6 says, “The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.” Verse 10 says, “Don’t abandon your friend or your father’s friend.” And verse 14 says, “If one blesses his neighbor with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse to him.”

However, perhaps the most quoted verse of this chapter is verse 17, which says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” As Bruce Waltke notes, this iron “probably designates the smelted and worked iron from terrestrial ore that was introduced into Palestine about 1400 B.C., not the meteoric iron that was used before that. It is notable for its hardness and strength and used in many types of instruments.”^[1]

This verse contrasts sharply with verses 14-15, which present a fawning neighbor and nagging wife. True friendship isn’t overly critical or overly adoring. It strikes a balance between saying what needs to be said without speaking beyond what one's relational capital is. It also brings us to the communal heart of God.

Like it or not, God the Father’s primary means of shaping us into the image of his Son is using other people—sometimes those who frustrate us the most—to shave off some of our rough edges. When we live in a vacuum, it’s easy to embrace undeveloped ideas about God and others. We assume our ways of thinking about politics, business, recreation, church, and family are accurate. But when we intentionally surround ourselves with people who think differently than us, we can be sharpened to be more like God.

A Meditation to PRAY

Praise | Lord, I praise you for the wisdom in your Word that sharpens and refines me. Thank you for the relationships that mold and shape my character. I am grateful for the people you have placed in my life who have helped me grow.

Release | Lord, I release my fear of conflict and misunderstanding that can arise in relationships. Help me let go of the pride that prevents me from accepting correction. I surrender my tendency to isolate myself instead of seeking the counsel of others.

Ask | Lord, please give me the humility to accept constructive criticism with grace. Help me to be a source of encouragement and sharpening for those around me. Give me discernment to choose friends who will edify and strengthen my walk with you.

Yield | Lord, I yield to your process of refining me through my relationships. I trust your wisdom and guidance in bringing people into my life for my growth. I commit to being open to the sharpening and strengthening that comes from others.

A Challenge to Act Like Christ  

The question every Christian should ask themselves is this: Have I intentionally developed a network of a few people in my life who can challenge my thinking?

This is one of the primary reasons Jesus Christ created the church. By gathering with fellow believers in worship, we can support each other when we’re feeling down and challenge one another when we’ve gone off the right path. In the process, we become more like Jesus, the ultimate friend and mentor who modeled perfect sharpening through his teachings, guidance, and sacrifice.

For some, this is very uncomfortable, and it’s precisely the reason they dislike community. In an individualistic culture, we like to surround ourselves with affirming people and convenience. If friends tell us what we like to hear, help us get where we want to go, and provide just the right amount of emotional support we want, we keep them. But if they do anything we dislike, we pull back and ghost them.

If this is a tension you’ve wrestled with, take some time to reevaluate your priorities and give more voice to people in your life who don’t live quite like you, but God might be using to speak words of truth and life.

^[1]Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15–31, New International Commentary on the Old Testament.New International Commentary on the Old Testament. Accordance electronic ed. (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2005), 384.