The Downside of Incredible Grandparents

I hit the family jackpot. Born into a family rich in faith, surrounded by people whose love for Christ left a lasting imprint on everyone around them, you’d think there would be nothing but positives. But even a gift like that came with an unexpected downside.

Sure, it was amazing to have a solid family to look up to. Yes, my grandparents’ legacy passed through my parents and their siblings to all of us grandkids. I saw the Lord’s blessings in the lives of my entire family.

I saw their impact even in the lives of people I’ve never met. Just a few weeks ago, I met a woman who, upon finding out my last name, couldn’t help but tell me about what a wonderful impact my grandparents had made on her. That might sound strange, but it wasn’t uncommon for me growing up. My grandparents were pastors who gave everything for the Lord and the people they served.

When it comes to family, I feel like I won the lottery. I certainly shouldn’t have anything to complain about. There is, however, one large downside to being raised in a family like that. One lingering presence I’ve struggled to shake since I was young.

Expectations. Unrealistic demands. Familial obligations.

But not the way you might think.

The Wrong Burden

It wasn’t my family that weighed me with a sense of obligation. My expectations—the ones I felt most—came from myself. They were self-imposed. I figured that, coming from such an incredible legacy, I could either hold the status quo (best-case scenario) or mess everything up. Instead of being grateful for the example I’d been given, I sometimes felt intimidated by it. What if I made a mistake, like marrying the wrong person? What if I couldn’t live up to the example of my grandparents?

I think that’s a mindset that touches us all in one way or another. We all have someone we look up to, people we don’t want to let down. My grandparents, and the family they raised, showed me what it meant to truly follow the Lord. I got a front row seat to the harvest of their lives. And I worried about messing up what they’d built.

In that, though, I was incredibly short-sighted. Because my grandparents’ legacy isn’t truly what mattered. It wasn’t their own names they wanted to spread.

The Right Burden

Christ was the center. He was what mattered then. He is what matters now. And His burden is different.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

For years, I worried I was destined to let my grandparents down—to shatter that incredible legacy. And yet, if my faith were really about measuring up, the standard wouldn’t be my grandparents. It would be Christ Himself. That realization should crush me. But Jesus offers something else.

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,” He says in Matthew. “You will find rest.”

A yoke was something placed on animals so they could work together and share a load. In Jesus’ day, the word was also used to describe a teacher’s way of life. Every rabbi offered a yoke, or a path to follow.

Jesus doesn’t deny that there is a burden to carry. He does, however, promise that we won’t carry it alone. He bears the heaviest part Himself, taking our sin upon his shoulders. The image Jesus gives isn’t one of us dragging life’s burdens behind us on our own. It's one of Him walking alongside us.

His burden is light not because life is easy, but because we were never meant to carry it by ourselves.

Rest For Your Soul

It’s not up to us to uphold a magnificent legacy. That weight doesn’t rest on our shoulders. Looking back, I know my grandparents never expected perfection from me. They weren't trying to create copies of themselves. They didn’t want me living under obligation, but grace.

They only wanted to point me to Christ.

So what was the use of my self-imposed expectations? What was the point of that heavy standard of perfection? At best, it was pointless. At worst, it was damaging and distracted my focus from what really mattered.

Take a moment today to pause. Ask yourself: What expectations are you dealing with this week? How might you be living under obligation, rather than grace? Are you chasing some standard that doesn’t matter? Or are you taking Christ’s yoke upon you?

Christ isn't asking us to preserve a legacy through flawless performance. He doesn’t want us to carry that weight. In Matthew, He offers another way. He tells us to walk with Him.