The Sin Many Christians Excuse (Proverbs 10)

A Few Thoughts to Consider

What does God have to say about the way I talk?

As it turns out, quite a lot. In Proverbs 10, Solomon shares profound insights about how we should and shouldn’t speak. He writes:

⁸ A wise heart accepts commands, but foolish lips will be destroyed. ¹⁰ A sly wink of the eye causes grief, and foolish lips will be destroyed. ¹¹ The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. ¹³ Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of the one who lacks sense. ¹⁴ The wise store up knowledge, but the mouth of the fool hastens destruction. ¹⁸ The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. ¹⁹ When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent. ²⁰ The tongue of the righteous is pure silver; the heart of the wicked is of little value. ²¹ The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense. ³¹ The mouth of the righteous produces wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out. ³² The lips of the righteous know what is appropriate, but the mouth of the wicked, only what is perverse.

There are some critical takeaways we should note. First, it’s possible to cut others down without even saying a word and just giving a “sly wink.” This happens through a smirk to a coworker or a roll of the eyes behind someone’s back. Despite not saying a word, we can still inflict pain. Second, there is a price to pay for careless speech that can result in our destruction. Careless words are like negative compound interest. Third, good words give life to others. Fourth, harmful words lead to violence. Fifth, people who cut others down are fools. Sixth, too many words inevitably result in saying something we’ll regret. Seventh, restraint is a virtue. And eighth, knowing what to say and when to say it is an indicator of discernment.

Unfortunately, Christians often don’t take Solomon’s words seriously. They grow comfortable using words behind someone’s back that they wouldn’t say to their face. They dismiss “white lies” by telling others “everything is fine” when they have serious issues they should confront. According to Paul E. Koptak, “The contrast between the ‘wise in heart’ and the ‘chattering fool’ (lit., “fool’s lips”) is really a contrast of attitudes toward speaking and listening; the wise are silent and learn from commands, while the fool’s lips are too busy prattling to learn what would prevent ruin.”^[1]

For Christians who take what they say seriously, there are three practices that are life-giving to others. First, as a general rule, never use words about someone behind their back that you would never say to their face. Second, be ruthlessly honest. This doesn’t mean you’re unkind or share unnecessary information, but it does mean you do your best to weed out “white lying.” You stop saying you’re OK when you’re not. You stop saying you were late for work because of traffic when the real reason was you didn’t wake up on time. At first, this will feel uncomfortable, but it is incredibly life-giving. Third, speak words of life anytime you get a chance. Notice the good in others. Tell your spouse why you appreciate them. Look for good things your kids are doing. Build up others at work. When you feel yourself starting to cut someone down, pause and apologize to the person you’re speaking to. This will only increase their trust in you as a person.

Ray Ortlund writes, “Thoughtful words are a rare treasure in this world of trivial chatter. When ‘a precious jewel’ comes from the lips of a wise person, others pay attention. Literal jewels might catch people’s eyes, but jewel-like words catch people’s ears.”^[2] When it comes to speech, chances are, you already know what you should do. You just need to discipline yourself to follow through.