Mustard Sandwiches and the Summer of Discontent
Do you ever think that everyone else has it better? Reshaping our perspective can bring peace and contentment when comparison and disappointment threaten to steal our joy.
By all measures, the house my kids are growing up in is vastly better than the one I grew up in. In fact, their entire lives are on another whole level. They haven’t experienced some of the things I grew up with.
It wasn’t because my parents didn’t try; they certainly did try. They worked hard and did their best to give my three brothers and me a good life. Life was just different for us. I grew up in a “food poor” home. I was never sure when my next dinner might come along. We never starved; however, there were nights when dinner wasn’t much.
For a summer, I basically lived on mustard sandwiches. Yes, that’s as bad as it sounds. But it’s what we had.
Fast-forward 30-some years (okay, maybe more like 40, but give me a break), and my kids, who have never wanted for a meal and have new clothes and shoes every year, can at times be overwhelmed when they spend time in the “grandeur” of their friends' houses. I put that in quotes intentionally. Our friends’ houses aren’t mansions, and they work hard for what they have, and I don’t envy them for it.
Why Me?
But if I am honest, I, like my kids, struggle sometimes. The second-hand washer and dryer, the hand-me-downs; you can fill in the blank. When the tire goes flat, or that thing breaks again, I often think, “God, am I ever going to catch a break?”
In that cry, my heart is really uttering Psalm 73:4-5, "For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of humanity." I don’t use those words, but the thought is the same. We’ve all said it, felt it at some point.
Why am I struggling when seemingly everyone else has it great?!
It’s okay; you can be honest. We’ve all felt it. It’s the reality of the world we live in. We see others and begin to compare, wondering why ours isn’t better. Perhaps you’ve heard the old saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Nothing else on the Earth can make you feel less-than quite like your own heart.
The reality is that if you are reading this within the United States, you are better off than more than 75% of the rest of the world; you have more purchasing power and access to quality goods than in just about every other place. Seriously, everywhere. It doesn’t get much better than living in the USA.
Switch the Set
Knowing that reality still doesn’t change the heart hurt that comes with seeing everyone else seem to make it when you're dragging around an anchor tied to your neck. When I find myself getting into the wrong mindset, I do my level best to “switch the set.” At least that’s what I call it.
It starts with a list of what I think is wrong in my world. I then play a little game, asking myself, “What could be worse?” Then I compare the two lists. Nothing sets perspective like understanding how things could be worse. Then I make my favorite list: “What is great about my life.” And the first thing I write is always the same—That I get to write this list out.
In the face of disappointment, count your blessings and name them one by one.
