Why Am I Never Satisfied With What I Have?
Have you ever gotten what you longed for and discovered it didn't satisfy? When we look to Christ for ultimate satisfaction, the good things He gives us can then provide true enjoyment.
In the 70s to 90s, there was a phenomenon known as the Wish book, or just the Christmas book. It would arrive in the mailbox in August or September with enough time to dog-ear the edges and tattoo the pages with ink circles, smiley faces, and crudely drawn stars before December 25.
Hours of longing, dopamine firing like fireworks across underdeveloped frontal cortices. The mantra of “I have to have that” recited like irreverent prayers. Those carefully staged images of better-dressed versions of yourself playing with toys you can only imagine burned into your mind. The longing was the thing.
Fast forward a few decades, and over 40 million people are subscribed to a YouTube channel called Ryan’s World. Premise: A child opens toys and reviews them. What was once silver print has become digital and living. The desire for what you don’t have remains unchanged.
Wanting is the key, not acquiring. If you could magically reach through the screen and have the toy, it would lose its luster almost immediately.
Getting What You Thought You Wanted
Oscar Wilde said:
“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
Oscar was a consummate hedonist. A man infamous for his large appetite for forbidden fruit. His most famous work, The Picture of Dorian Gray, is about a young man who falls under the influence of Lord Henry Wotton and begins to believe the most important thing is to remain beautiful and pursue sensual pleasures. After having his portrait painted, he wishes to remain young while the portrait grows old.
His wish is granted, and he remains beautiful; the painting begins to bear the scars of his moral collapse. In the end, to escape the consequences of his own choices, Dorian stabs the portrait.
He is found dead on the floor, an old sin-scarred man next to a portrait of a beautiful young man. He got what he wanted, but it didn’t satisfy him. Why?
What Should I Want?
Solomon wrestled with the unfairness of life. The idea that no matter how good you were, or whether you did everything right, you still died and someone else might enjoy what was yours.
Solomon and Wilde were not so different. Both had voracious appetites for pleasure. The key difference was that Solomon started with a humble heart toward God.
So, what should we want? One man started with humility and a heart for God, and the other wanted only hedonistic, sinful pleasures. Both ended up unable to enjoy the things they had acquired. Can we acquire pleasure or things and truly enjoy them?
James 4:3 says,
“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
The answer is in the motivation of your heart. Solomon says many times throughout Ecclesiastes that God has given you good things and that you should enjoy them. Enjoyment is possible when our motivations are not strictly for pleasure or for things.
There is a quote attributed to actor Jim Carrey:
“I wish everyone could get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that’s not the answer.”
When our hearts are directed towards God, and our desire is first and foremost for Him, then the good things He gives us provide genuine enjoyment and contentment.
Take a moment today and assess your motivations for acquiring the things you desire. Are they the end in themselves? Are you sacrificing something better to get something that you know will not actually satisfy you? Or are you enjoying a good gift from a loving Father with a heart of gratitude?
