Why Am I Always Grateful Five Years Too Late?

We live in a world of comparison, and many always feel like they're playing two steps behind.

Jon is doing the best he can, but his company recently downsized, forcing him out the door and causing him to restart with another company.

Jackie came from a large family and was always expected to carry on this tradition. She is now in her early thirties. Most of her friends and family members are married with kids. That's what she wants too, but is still single with no prospects on the horizon. She is happy, but still feels a bit behind.

Jace and Jillian (to round out the Js) have had large health setbacks they never could have anticipated. They both worked hard, saved money, and did the right thing, but then a terrible illness wreaked havoc on their home, devastating their savings (Apologies to my Canadian readers who do not understand the US healthcare system) and leaving them in a terrible financial position at a vulnerable stage of life.

Be Grateful In the Present

Everyone's story is different, but I've discovered that my expectations for life are usually several years ahead of where I am.

I wrote on my LinkedIn last week that in my early twenties, I wanted to be married sooner than I was. Janan and I wanted to have kids before we had them. And I had the goal of being a NYT bestselling author by 35 (I'm 36... soooo). The result was that I spent years feeling behind.

Over the last decade, I've sensed God slow me down to live in the moment. And when I do, I realize I have so many reasons to be grateful. I have a wonderful marriage, and I can honestly say that each year Janan and I have grown closer together, and we're more in love than we've ever been. Looking back, we're both grateful it took us a little longer to have kids because it made our marriage that much stronger.

Speaking of kids, we have four amazing little ones who are everything we dreamed of and more. Many times, I've turned to Janan and said, "These are the good old days."

As for writing? Would I love to make a living as a world-famous author? I suppose, and I feel like I have so many books I'd love to publish one day. But I've also found tremendous value in serving others through coaching and ghostwriting.

I have so many reasons to be grateful, and so do you.

Be Grateful for Different Seasons

It's good to set aggressive goals that stretch us, but if we're constantly living several years behind where we want to be, we'll live restless, annoyed, and resentful.

Life has different phases. I don't have the book written on this, but a quick scan of Biblical figures and we can see that God often takes his people through several key life seasons:

• The Naive Years - Life looks good. It feels so straightforward, as if God is going to accomplish His purposes in our lives through A, B, and C steps. Think of Joseph when he is shown a vision of what is to come, and David when he is anointed the future king of Israel.
• The Wilderness Years - Reality starts to set in as key friends disappoint you, family members die, or dreams you once had seem crushed. This time either solidifies your character or makes you a more bitter and cynical person.
• The Fruitful Years - God starts to connect the dots, and you see how his purposes are being formed in your life. You recognize how he is taking your unique wiring, your wonderful accumulation of God-given gifts, and using them to your full potential.
• The Replacement Years - You take a backseat role to raise up the next generation while doubling down on a meaningful prayer life in preparation to meet the one your soul longs to see.

Now, I'm not saying each life is a carbon copy of the next, and that if you're in the wilderness years today, you'll be in the fruitful ones tomorrow. And I'm sure we could add a few more steps, but these are the biggies I've noticed, and you see this pattern played out in Biblical figures like Moses, David, and Paul.

The main point is that God guides each of His children through a maturing process to help them become more loving and ultimately more like Him. Rather than resenting this process, it's much better to be grateful in each moment and see each season as an opportunity to become more like him.

Are you in your wilderness years? Take heart and allow God to grow your character. Are you in the fruitful ones? Enjoy, but remain connected to the vine.

Don't wait to show your gratitude to God at some unknown date when you've finally arrived and that thing you've been praying about finally falls into place. Be grateful today for what God has done, is doing, and will continue to do in every season of your life.