What Should I Do If I Fail?

Have you ever received a failing grade?

I certainly have and have often told the story of failing several of my first lengthy papers in college, only to have my professor write "Mercy!" at the bottom in red ink. Failing, especially when everyone else around you is succeeding, isn't easy.

If you gave me an afternoon, I could probably recount several dozen failures I've had in life, and chances are you could do the same. Years ago, I read Failing Forward by John Maxwell and highlighted some great statements like:

• "Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward."
• "The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure."
• "The only way to fail forward and achieve your dreams is to cultivate tenacity and persistence."

But try as I might, these truths still didn't remove the sting of failure.

What If You Weren't Published Until Your 80th Birthday?

A while back, I was listening to a book by Peggy Rowe, a three-time NYT bestselling author who wasn't published until after her 80th birthday. Yes, 80.

As I listened to her story, I was challenged by her incredible tenacity and persistence. For decades, she honed her writing craft, doing friends' eulogies, writing poetry, and completing several finished manuscripts—each of which was rejected by traditional publishers.

But then, her breakthrough (which might have had something to do with having this son named Mike), and she was published at last. All of those failures finally led to something.

Peggy's story is far from an isolated account. Anyone who has ever tried anything knows a taste of what failure might feel like. It's the lover attempting to woo a potential soul mate, only to have the object of their affection roll their eyes in disgust and turn away. It's the grand business pitch to a high-profile client that results in a quick, "Thank you for coming. Don't call us. We'll call you."

Failure stings. It feels personal. And even for those seasoned veterans that have felt the sting of rejection a thousand times, the pain—albeit slightly diminished—still remains.

How Do You "Fail Forward"?

Failure can either destroy us or it can mold us. It can cause us to give up, or it can make us better. It can knock us down, or it can be part of our rising up.

Proverbs 24:16 says, "Though a righteous person falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin." This reminds us that failure is not the end of the story. A righteous person rises because their foundation is not in personal perfection but in God’s strength and grace.

Have you failed at something recently?

If so, do as John Piper says and "Occasionally, weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that he’s given you."

Let your failures keep pushing you to become more like Jesus.