What If You Feel "Called" to a Job But It Isn't Working Out?

The other day, I was working with a venture capitalist in LA, and he shared this story with me. He was interacting with a founder who was in a new startup role. When my VC author turned to the founder and asked him his motivation for doing what he did, the founder replied, “I just think I was put on this planet to sell this product!"

To which my VC friend just laughed. From his vantage point, it was the height of arrogance and narcissism for this founder to think he was God’s gift to his industry. And it made me think about the word Christians often use in relation to work—calling.

Growing up in a context where there was a lot of talk about “God’s call for your life,” I felt God calling me at age 15 to plant a church in Toronto, Canada. And for five years, my wife and I did just that and we saw some wonderful days and some tough days.

In preparation for this move, I’d read dozens of books, studied community demographics, interviewed numerous Toronto-based pastors, and attended church planting trainings. Most important, Janan and I sensed God’s blessing. And those first few months after moving to Toronto were amazing, and we quickly went from knowing a handful of people to having a few small groups.

It was hard, but again, I felt called.

One fall, I went on a forty-day liquid fast, praying for God’s added blessing on our ministry. I lost quite a bit of weight, and truth be told, I’ve never quite mentally recovered from it. It helped me forever read Jesus’ journey into the wilderness through fresh eyes.

During that time, we saw some (what I consider to be) miraculous movements of God. One of them was getting a 10,000-square-foot facility in East Scarborough for only $1,400 a month in rent. People were growing in their faith, our church was growing, and I was encouraged.   

The Break

But then, one morning, something snapped. The combined pressures of growing to be self-sustaining, working in a poorer community, and living in a concrete jungle took their toll. I remember sitting at my kitchen table, and tears just started coming down my cheek. For reference, Janan just told someone the other day that she’s only seen me cry once in the last ten years.

To make a long story short, those next few years proved to be the darkest of my life, and I spiraled into depression. Not an “I’m having a bad day” depression, but one that would linger for months at a time and left me feeling totally hopeless and wanting my life to end. I only realized this later, but when I’d leave the house for a late-night drive, Janan often wondered if I’d come home (I'm not proud to admit this).

After trying counseling, going to doctors, and talking to spiritual mentors, Janan and I made the tough call to pack up our belongings and move across the border and continent to live just outside Boise, Idaho, where her family lives. For the first year, I felt I was living in an alternate universe. I felt God was so clear in his calling, and now, instead of leading people to Jesus in Toronto, I was in 100 degree attics running cables for an alarm company in Idaho.

I knew it wasn’t right, but part of me couldn’t help but feel like God had let me down. I felt like I had done everything humanly possible to do what he wanted and was willing to sacrifice everything for it, only to see everything I’d envisioned swept away.

Here’s Why I Share This Story

Perhaps you or someone you love has started a business or are operating in a career that you believe God called you to. You’ve planned, you’ve strategized, you’ve prayed, but you can’t meet the payments and it’s looking like you’ll need to close.

Everyone and their brother has an idea about what you should or shouldn't do, and you’ve read the Christianize literature that says, “When you’re down and out, that’s exactly where God wants you.” You’re trying to believe, but nothing is changing.

If this is where you're at, I just want you to know that I feel you, God sees you, and this is not the end.

Today, life is great. Moving to Idaho and leading a small group of 8-10 couples who are all new to the area, I've seen repeatedly that my journey is far from uncommon. Almost every person in their thirties or older has experienced something that didn’t go as planned. A marriage dissolved that they desperately tried to save, a career shift they never anticipated, or a mental breakdown that caught them completely by surprise.

Maybe your career is in a great place today, and you have that golden triangle of doing something you’re skilled at, working in a job you love, and receiving good compensation for your efforts. Maybe. Or, maybe you’re one of the ones in transition.

You’re saying, “God, this isn’t what I ever envisioned.” I'll get into the whole calling stuff and "how do I know if I'm doing the right job" in my next posts, but for today, I'd encourage you to meditate on these words from Psalm 37:

³ Trust in the Lord and do what is good;
dwell in the land and live securely.
⁴ Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

⁵ Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act,
⁶ making your righteousness shine like the dawn,
your justice like the noonday.

⁷ Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him;
do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way,
by the person who carries out evil plans.

Last night, I was reading George Macdonald's Unspoken Sermons and came across this wonderful word of encouragement. Macdonald writes,

That man is perfect in faith who can come to God in the utter dearth of his feelings and his desires, without a glow or an aspiration, with the weight of low thoughts, failures, neglects, and wandering forgetfulness, and say to him, "Thou art my refuge, because thou art my home." [1]

So take heart. God hasn’t forgotten about you. He is still molding you into the image of Jesus, and he can use even the most painful deaths in your life to sprout new life.

[1] George MacDonald, Unspoken Sermons: Series I, II, and III, Kindle edition.