What If I'm Not Experiencing God Like I'd Like To?
Why does God feel distant? Shouldn't I sense more of his activity in my life? If that's where you're at, here are some words of encouragement.
In my twenties, I spent more than my share of time debating evidence for God’s existence. Through listening to voices like William Lane Craig, I learned how to construct moral, cosmological, teleological, and even ontological arguments for God’s existence.
Keep in mind this was during the heyday of “New Atheists” like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens, and post 9/11 it was a common trend to say all religion was a scourge on society. But as time has passed, this view has lost momentum because it is, by definition, quite hopeless, and even Dawkins has softened his approach and labeled himself a "cultural Christian."
The newish trend is to be spiritual but not religious. In a way, it's sort of a new religion that merges all religions together and says all are equally valid. What matters is not the validity of a faith structure but the intentions of the heart.
"You say you're a Christian? That's great, and I'm happy that works for you if it gives you happiness!" Jesus? Buddha? Muhummad? They were all great people who pursued good ideals, and so long as we do the same, everything will shake out all right in the end.
One of many obvious flaws in this approach is that it stands in direct opposition to the exclusive claims of Christ, who said that he was the way, the truth, and the life. Another obvious flaw is that this mindset is often rooted in a narcissism that says, "I see the full picture and how all religions are the same."
God is viewed as a subjective experience for each person, but he isn't knowable. He's a construct of our own making. A feeling of warmth that gets us through tough times and a nice thought that gives us hope for life beyond the grave. But the idea that he/she/it has a plan for how we should live seems preposterous to many and much too constraining.
There’s a lot I could say about the rationale for the existence of God or how the historical validity of the resurrection is proof that Jesus' claims are true, but I think it’s important to note this shift that’s taken place in Western society.
A Shift to Experience
We’ve largely moved from “Is what you believe right?” to “Is what you believe good?” to "Will what you believe work for me?" Last week I was reading Tyler Stanton’s latest book, The Familiar Stranger, where he correctly writes,
Today’s young adults and the generation following them are far more open to experience than explanation. They’re much more likely to try a yoga class or a mindfulness meditation app or even an hour in a Christian prayer room than listen to a sermon. And that’s new. Post–World War II generations wanted information and answers to hard questions, which is why books like The Case for Christ and Evidence that Demands a Verdict did so well. It was a heyday for apologists. Win my mind, and you get my heart. But beginning with millennials, and increasingly in subsequent generations, a new era has dawned. Today’s young adults are suspicious of experts, forever aware that there’s always another perspective on any topic. But when a message we hear matches or resonates with our experience, that message wins our trust. Win my heart, and you get my mind.[1]
While there are certainly errors with this shift towards experience, it’s critical to understand the deeper implications behind this search. Younger generations are craving an authentic connection with something larger than themselves.
Traditionally, I’ve been hesitant to lead with my experience when talking to those who don’t believe in God like I do. I do this because I think it’s important not to lean on subjectivity and get into a “well, my experience says this, so I must be right” argument when I believe ultimate truth is objective.
That said, I’m a lot less hesitant to share my experience today because of how the conversation has shifted. So, this next month, for my Monday-Friday daily devotional, in addition to the posts I’ll provide, I’ve invited numerous subscribers in multiple nations to share their stories of times they’ve experienced God in good times and in pain.
And my hope is that by reading the experiences of others, God begins to do a deeper work in your own life and that you begin seeing more traces of his activity in your life.
Look For His Activity
To many, like the late American astronomer Carl Sagon, having an experiential relationship with God seems strange—even egotistical. In the sarcastic words of Joy Behar from The View, “It’s one thing to talk to Jesus. It’s another thing when Jesus talks to you.” After all, what humans in their right mind could claim that a creator of a vast universe would care about them?
Many Christians believe in God, but they’ve settled for being passive deists (people who believe that a divine creator exists but does not intervene in the universe after its creation, leaving it to run according to natural laws).
They don’t see him working in their lives, believe prayer is nothing more than thoughtful good sentiments, feel overwhelmed with the challenges of pain and suffering, and live like they have no more hope than their friends who do not even believe God exists.
If you put yourself in this camp and you're struggling to hear from God, I feel your struggle. Believe me, I do. And the last thing you'll get from me is judgment because I've gone through my own times of wondering why God isn't more active. But as someone who has experienced wonderful times of connection with God, I invite you to reorganize your schedule over this next month and do three things:
- Read a section of Scripture every day (John's gospel is a wonderful place to start).
- Journal your thoughts on what you’ve read. This is a powerful exercise I do each day.
- Use the PRAY acronym, and after attempting to discern God's Will by reading his word and listening for his voice, write specific prayers on some index cards and date them. Pray over these cards each day and pay attention to how things begin to shift in these areas.
Ask God each day to make you more aware of his activity in your life. As I always say, if the God of this universe is knowable, the greatest mistake we could ever make is to not take advantage of this opportunity.
Sometimes it's only as we position ourselves to hear from God and look for signs of his activity that we notice the threads of his presence woven through the fabric of our lives.
Bonus Tip: If you're a music person, this song from Benjamin William Hasting has been on repeat for me, and it's a wonderful way to kick off your personal worship time with God.
[1] Tyler Staton, The Familiar Stranger: (Re)Introducing the Holy Spirit to Those in Search of an Experiential Spirituality (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2025), 20.
