What I Learned About God Through Losing My Mom to Cancer

My mother passed away at the age of 56 on April 25, 2024, after battling breast cancer for three and a half years. She was an incredible mom to me for 24 years. She loved Jesus with all her heart. She loved my dad, her kids, and her grandchildren.

She was a woman of integrity. She worked hard, told the truth, and served others. She passed away far too young, and it's a tragedy for our family that she is no longer with us.

Often, as Christians, when tragedy strikes, we question God’s motives. But I have found that when I ask the question, “Who are you, God?” The question, “Why did you do this, God?” is often answered. So, who is God? Here are three things he has taught me about himself over the past year.

God Doesn’t Lie

I miss my mother and feel the pain of her absence. Yet, scripture promises pain and sorrow. In John 16, Jesus tells his disciples that after his crucifixion, resurrection, and ascension, they will face challenges. He says, “You will weep and lament,” “You will be sorrowful,” and “In this world, you will have trouble.”

Suffering is also promised in the epistles. 1 Peter 4:12 says, “Do not be surprised at trials when they come upon you.” Physical death is affirmed in scripture (Genesis 3:19, Hebrews 9:27, John 11:25-26).

Losing my incredible mother is a trial. I weep and lament, but God's word promises this. So, as 1 Peter 4:12 states, I shouldn’t be surprised. If I did not face trials, that would make God a liar.

God Uses Pain for His Glory

Again, I turn to the words of Jesus in John 16. After Jesus promises sorrow, he follows it by saying, "I will turn your sorrow into joy." He didn’t say, "I will take away your sorrow and replace it with joy." He promises to use it. Jesus gives us the example of a woman in labor in John 16:21-22 when he writes,

When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

Throughout scripture, we are repeatedly called to rejoice in our sufferings. I now look at my mom's situation and see how she displayed this through every trial she faced. During her chemotherapy, she gave God praise. During her time spent in a hospital, when she would rather be enjoying the company of her children and grandchildren, she gave God praise.

Throughout her final days, she continually gave God praise. She knew the promise of God that he would use her pain for His glory. And she knew the promise that her pain now doesn’t even come close to comparing to the glory that would be revealed to her in eternity (Romans 8:18).

We sat down together as a family on November 3, 2023, and she shared with us the emotions and the ups and downs of her journey and how it had brought her closer to God. As she gold us, “I wouldn’t trade my sickness and my pain for the closeness it has brought me to my Heavenly Father.”

If we surrender our circumstances to God, He will use our pain for his glory. God did that in the life of my mother, and he is continually doing that in her death.

God Gives Strength to the Hurting

I am hurting. Every day since April 25, 2024, I have been hurting. I have had to discover for myself whether these comforting words are true. It sounds good to say, right? God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). God gives grace to the weak (2 Corinthians 12:9). His mercies are renewed each morning (Lamentations 3:23). While these statements are beautiful and true, I wonder: can they be practically applied in my life?

Over the last year and some change, I have found that these promises are overwhelmingly true! Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of the heavens and the earth (Psalm 121:1-2). So why do we live in a world where the peace of God in people’s lives is absent amidst all the suffering? There are two passages I look at to answer that question. The first is Isaiah 26:3: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on you, because he trusts in you.”

It really is that simple. What is your mind fixed on? I have found that when my mind is fixed on earthly things, the peace of God is absent in my life. Too many times, I have found myself playing victim to God throughout this journey. But when I fix my eyes upon his glory and who he is and his character, I find that Isaiah 26:3 is proved true. He keeps me in perfect peace. Stop questioning God’s will and presenting your own to Him. Trust He is sovereign and start seeking His face. You will be amazed at the peace he brings to you.

I also look to Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” You know this verse; you probably saw it on a football player's eye black or in someone's Instagram bio. But what is Paul talking about when he says “all things?” 

To answer that question, you have to look at verses 11 and 12. Paul says, “I have learned that in every situation to be content. I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

So what is that secret? The secret is found in the verse you know well. The secret is in Christ, who strengthens me! In Christ, I find strength, whether everything is going my way or not. In Christ, I find strength even in the loss of my mother.

God doesn’t lie; you will face trial as He promised. God will take your pain and use it for his glory if you will allow him to, and God will be with you every step of the way. Giving you peace and strength if and only if you remained fixed on him.

Throughout my family’s journey of loss, I have found God to be exactly who He says He is, and I know He will be the same God for you.