How to Guard Against Having an Affair (Proverbs 5)
Since life is short, why not have an affair? This is a challenge the online dating platform Ashley Madison poses to their nearly 75 million worldwide users who are looking for intimacy outside their marriages.
Proverbs 5
Today's Scripture Passage
A Few Thoughts to Consider
Since life is short, why not have an affair?
This is a challenge the online dating platform Ashley Madison poses to their nearly 75 million worldwide users who are looking for intimacy outside their marriages. While an infamous 2015 data breach threatened the survival of this company, it's since seen significant growth, as the desire to have affairs doesn't wane.
When asked why people cheat on their spouses, the director of communications for Ashley Madison replied, "Our members often tell us that marriage isn't all that they thought it would be, and after the honeymoon fades and kids come into the picture, things shift. The relationship becomes less about passion and sex between the couple and more about the everyday life of the family unit."[1]
In Proverbs 5, Solomon speaks to this very issue. In verse 15, Solomon says, "Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well." Adding to our previous discussion on the importance of wells in the Bible on February 8th, Robert Alter writes,
"The association of the well with female fertility and especially with the womb (or vagina) is reflected both in the Song of Songs and in the recurrent betrothal type-scene, where the young man encounters his future bride by a well. The pure waters of the well are an antithesis to the sweet honey and smooth oil of the seductress's mouth.”[2]
In other words, like any sin, affairs feel exhilarating at the moment but result in untold pain.
Proverbs 25 is reminiscent of the story of Joseph. Noting this parallel, Bruce Waltke writes, “The son’s lips must speak the truth, as Joseph’s did with Potiphar’s wife, to fend off the malevolent, unctuous speech issuing from the lips (śiptê) of the unchaste wife.”[3] He must fight for his marriage, even when every impulse he has is to do otherwise.
This brings us to an important question: Why do Christian marriages fail? Among the many responses that could be given, the one guarantee is that at least one partner in the marriage has lost sight of the true purpose of marriage.
When we see the primary goal of marriage as personal happiness, the Ashley Madison path will be alluring. But when we step back and recognize how marriage fits into God’s grand narrative for humanity, we find a stabilizing purpose and value—even in those moments after the honeymoon fades.
There are some life lessons only learned in the context of marriage.
Tim and Kathy Keller write,
“Marriage brings growth that is impossible outside of the security of the bonded union. Because you cannot just walk away when things get difficult, it brings increased self-knowledge, emotional and spiritual growth, deep mutual affirmation and support, and the distinct joy you can have only in the presence of someone with whom you have been through thick and thin.”[4]
Are you tempted to have an affair? If so, reach out to someone you trust who can help, and then focus your eyes on the true purpose of marriage.
A Meditation to PRAY
Praise | I praise you for being the perfect example of a pure union with your church. Thank you for your purpose in marriage.
Release | I release my selfishness. Whether I am married or not, help me allow the people around me to knock off my sharp edges and assist me in becoming more like you.
