How Do I Avoid Envy?

Have you ever looked at someone who seemingly has it all together, wants little to do with God, and thought, “Why can’t I have what they have?”

This struggle of envy is certainly nothing new, and Proverbs 24 has something to say about it. In this chapter, Solomon offers wisdom on various aspects of life. He advises against envying evil people and emphasizes the value of wisdom and knowledge in building a strong, stable life.

He underscores the importance of righteous behavior, justice, and diligence while warning against laziness, deceit, and wickedness. In verses 1-2, he writes, ¹ “Don’t envy the evil or desire to be with them, ² for their hearts plan violence, and their words stir up trouble.”

The Problem of Envy

Envy comes in many forms.

Sometimes, it’s being envious of those who have done what’s wrong but seem to be getting ahead. But envy is always rooted in a self-centered heart. The Italian priest Thomas Aquinas defined envy as “sorrow for another’s good.”[1] Commenting on this definition, Gavin Ortlund writes,

Just think for a moment about how squarely malicious envy is based on this definition. In fact, just as pride is the opposite of humility, envy can be thought of as the opposite of love. Love says, ‘I’m happy when you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad.’ Envy says, ‘I’m happy when you’re sad, and I’m sad when you’re happy.’ Could anything be more terrible?[2] 

When we envy those we despise, we root for their downfall. But in verses 17-20, Solomon goes on to give this admonition:

¹⁷ Don’t gloat when your enemy falls,
and don’t let your heart rejoice when he stumbles,
¹⁸ or the Lord will see, be displeased,
and turn his wrath away from him.

¹⁹ Don’t be agitated by evildoers,
and don’t envy the wicked.
²⁰ For the evil have no future;
the lamp of the wicked will be put out.

Notice what envy does. It is quite literally self-destructive because it turns God’s anger from those who are doing what is evil to those who are envious. When we are envious, we lose our joy. As Ortlund writes,

There is no joy in your life that cannot be destroyed by envy. No matter what you have, envy can say, “Yes, you might have X, but you don’t have Y.” . . . “Yeah, you might have gotten into that college, but you didn’t get into that one.” “Yeah, you might be making good money, but you don’t have enough time to enjoy it.” “Yeah, your church might be growing, but you don’t have the opportunities that so-and-so has.”^[3]

Envy destroys, and there is a reason it is listed as one of the seven deadly sins.

How to Overcome Envy  

The way we overcome being envious of others is to look to Christ’s example. He overcame envy by embodying perfect humility and selflessness. And he consistently focused on fulfilling God's will rather than seeking personal glory or comparing Himself to others.

There are many seemingly insignificant forms of envy. You envy those with the “perfect family,” the career you dream of, or the house you’d give anything to own. But the key to heading off envy before it gains a stronghold in our lives is confronting it with a thankful heart. The next time you think to yourself, “I wish what they had,” pause and thank God for how he is blessing others.

And if you see someone who is doing what is wrong but still seems to be getting ahead, take time to pray for them with the right motivation. Cut off any thoughts of resentment and ask God to use their blessings to point them to him.   

[1] Summa Theologica, Volume 2 (Part II, First Section)

[2] Gavin Ortlund, Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness (Growing Gospel Integrity)

[3] Gavin Ortlund, Humility: The Joy of Self-Forgetfulness (Growing Gospel Integrity)