Why Growing Older is Not Bad News

A couple of years ago, as my 40th birthday was approaching, I started receiving the standard jokes about being "over the hill" and how "it's all downhill from here!" Turning the big 4-0 seems to be a milestone of sorts, ushering in the second half of life, and, in our culture, a number to dread. 

There's an elusive line somewhere, and it seems to be around the age of 40, where we go from anxiously awaiting our future to dreading what is to come. Children can't wait to be "grown up," and high school students can't wait for graduation. College students look forward to marriage and careers, and newlyweds look forward to babies and families.

But suddenly we find ourselves solidly in middle age, our babies are teenagers, and we can’t sleep on our pillow the wrong way without pulling a muscle. We find ourselves looking at the second half of our life, and if we’re not careful, we can start believing the lie that we grow less useful or less valuable as we age. 

The Age-Old Myth

In a culture that prizes beauty, intellect, and performance, aging is our enemy. When our worth is measured by efficiency, by how much we can accomplish or contribute, then growing older is bad news, because our bodies begin to slow us down, our minds can’t seem to keep track of everything like they used to, and it’s harder to learn new things.

We are losing our edge. And when our value lies in beauty or strength, then age is a thief, robbing us of muscle tone and adding fine lines and wrinkles. We are desperate for time to slow down, and we make every effort to reverse the effects of aging for as long as possible. 

Women are bombarded with ads for retinol, hyaluronic acid, collagen, microneedling, and Botox…anything and everything to keep themselves looking younger. For men, it's weight training and CrossFit, higher protein intake, and cold plunging—all ways to keep yourself feeling stronger and looking more fit. 

It seems we are uncomfortable with aging, with the visible progression of the breakdown of our bodies, the way it reminds us that, in time, we all will die. And if this life is all we have, then it makes sense that we would want to turn back time, so to speak, to erase (or at least hide) the effects of aging. 

Scripture Says Something Different

But when we look at Scripture, we see a different narrative. 

Job 12:12 says that wisdom belongs to the aged, and understanding to the old. In Proverbs 16:31, we read that gray hair, rather than being cause for alarm and a panicked call to your stylist, is actually a crown of splendor. Psalm 92:14 refutes the idea that we aren’t as useful when we are old, declaring that the godly will still bear fruit in old age, and they will stay fresh and green. 

After turning 40, I was talking to a dear friend and mentor on how it felt, and I commented, in all sincerity, that it didn’t really bother me all that much, that I liked who I was at 40 better than who I was at 30…the growing up, the hard life lessons, the wisdom that comes only from experience, suffering, and growth in God…in some ways, I was experiencing a little of what Job was referencing.

I don’t know that I quite qualify as aged, or that I claim to have the wisdom and understanding of someone who has walked with God into the sunset years of life, but I do know this: what we do with our days matters. We are all aging, and who we are at 40, 50, 60, and beyond has much to do with the formative habits we practice now. 

So I plan to keep walking, lifting weights, eating protein (and probably using age-defying skin care regimens!), but more because I want to have the energy and strength to live well with God than because I’m trying to look 26 again.

Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and it’s good stewardship to take good care of them. But more importantly, I want to lean into the intentional rhythms of my embodied soul…daily time spent in God’s Word, moments spent listening to God’s voice and letting his love for me shape who I am, not letting go of relationships and community, even when I have to fight for it, investing in relationship with those I deeply love, my husband, my children, listening to the Spirit and loving well those he brings into my path.

And as I do those things, I can trust that what Paul says in 2 Corinthians will be true in my life…my outer person, my body, is dying, but my spirit is being renewed day by day.

And as far as wrinkles go, I lean on the wisdom of my favorite Christian philosopher and author, C. S. Lewis: "As for wrinkles: pshaw! Why shouldn't we have wrinkles? Honorable insignia of long service in this warfare."