What You Really Need This Christmas

Have you ever received a Christmas gift that you didn’t really want? I recall a particular Christmas morning during my middle school years when my sweet grandmother bought me a LEGO set. Growing up, I had spent countless hours at her house building elaborate creations, so she naturally assumed that LEGOs would still be one of my favorite gifts to unwrap. 

The problem was that I had stopped playing with LEGOs nearly three years earlier. We had not spent Christmas together for some time, and she had not realized that my interests had changed.

I tried my best to act grateful. I acted surprised, expressed excitement, and even built the set in front of her. Still, I am certain that I did not entirely conceal my selfish disappointment. While I appreciated the love behind the gift, my heart revealed something uncomfortable about itself: I wanted to be known, understood, and satisfied—and I wanted it on my own terms.

I suspect many of us share similar experiences. As children, we often felt deeply loved when others knew exactly what we wanted for Christmas. Yet as we grow older, the question becomes more complicated. Do we even know what we want anymore?

The average American spends over $900 on Christmas gifts each year. Instead of carefully selecting one meaningful gift, many of us resort to what might be called “shotgun shopping”—buying a wide assortment of items in hopes that at least one will be appreciated. This pattern often reflects a deeper uncertainty. We are no longer sure what will truly satisfy us.

My wife and I frequently encounter this uncertainty ourselves. Each year, we ask one another, “What do you want for Christmas?” and often respond with little more than a shrug. Eventually, we buy something, but it is usually a spontaneous decision made while we are out together. Beneath that simplicity lies an important question: Do we really know what we want? More importantly, do we know what we truly need?

The Gift I Need 

As I have reflected on these questions, my thoughts have repeatedly returned to John 1:12–13:

But to all who did receive him, he gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born, not of natural descent, or of the will of the flesh, or of the will of man, but of God.

This passage reminds me that what I truly need for Christmas is not something that can be wrapped, purchased, or placed under a tree. I need, once again, to consider the grace of God that He has freely offered through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus bore our sins and carried our shame. He bears the burdens we bring and sees every tear we cry. In Him, God has given us the astonishing privilege of becoming His children—not by human effort or desire, but by His good and sovereign grace.

This is the greatest gift of all: adoption into the family of God. To believe in Christ is to receive a new identity, a new inheritance, and a new hope. Christmas, at its core, is not about getting what we want, but about receiving what we desperately need. Hopefully, over time and growth in Christ, the gift I need will become the gift I want. 

What Do You Really Want?

The next time my wife asks me what I want for Christmas, I hope I answer with greater honesty and intention. 

• I want a deeper shared devotion to Christ in our marriage. 

• I want our home to be shaped more by prayer than by hurry. 

• I want those who do not yet know Him to encounter His grace through our lives. 

• I want renewal in my church, integrity in my work, and relationships that reflect the love I have received rather than the love I try to manufacture. 

• I want my Sunday worship to spill naturally into Monday faithfulness, and my private prayers to shape my public obedience.

These desires are not rooted in sentimentality or seasonal reflection. They flow from the reality that, in Christ, I have already been given everything that truly matters. Adoption into God’s family is not merely a comforting idea. It is a transforming gift. 

If you belong to Him, you are not left as you are. You are invited into renewal at the deepest level of who you are, as your mind is reshaped and your life is conformed to His will. Sin no longer defines you, despair no longer owns you, and striving no longer has the final word.

In the middle of a Christmas season that moves quickly and asks much of us, it may be worth slowing down long enough to pray a different kind of prayer. Not simply for comfort or provision, but for change. Perhaps there is a sin you have quietly made peace with. Perhaps there is a prayer you stopped praying because hope felt too costly. Or perhaps you are standing at the edge of a new season and longing for clarity, courage, or direction.

Scripture assures that God hears the prayers of His children and that it delights Him to give good gifts. He is not reluctant, distracted, or stingy. He is a Father who gives the kingdom to those who come to Him in trust.

So I ask you once more, not as a sentimental exercise, but as a spiritual one. What do you really want for Christmas?