Less Zen, More Zakar

Have you ever gotten lost in the anxiety of raising your children successfully? Those with children will probably be able to relate to the utter paralysis you can feel as your mind swims through a quagmire of goals, fears, obstacles, purposes, habits, and problems related to raising another person in the modern world.

Is he getting good grades? Is she making friends? Is she being bullied? Is he being the bully? Are they eating enough protein? Am I setting them up for success with money, relationships, good habits, and hobbies?

Do they know the Lord? Do they know the Bible? Do they have the right theology? Do they know enough apologetics to stand strong in their faith? Are they getting too much screen time? Am I crippling their ability to compete in the modern technological world by NOT giving them tech? Am I giving her too much freedom? Am I being a helicopter parent?

In times of worry, these are only a handful of the questions that swarm the mind of an anxious parent like a hive of angry bees. Are we doing enough? Are we doing this parenting thing right?

The truth is that we’re all going to make mistakes, and there will always be the possibility of unintentionally wounding our children, but because of grace, we can focus on doing the important things well and then watch as our children grow in faith and into adulthood.

Quieting the Swarm

While these questions and issues have to be addressed at some point or another, for Christian parents, some of the biggest questions and doubts we’ll have are about our children’s spiritual lives. How do we raise our kids in the “discipline and instruction of the Lord?” 

There is hope for busy parents in a busy world! One of my favorite Christian apologists, Gregory Koukl, often says, “Faithfulness is not theologically complicated.” Psalm 78:1-8 instructs us that being a faithful parent or guardian involves teaching our children to remember our God and not forget. It says: 

“My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old—things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. They would not be like their ancestors—a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him.”

Remembering who God is and what He has done seems to be extremely important…but why? What is the danger of forgetting? And what does it really mean to remember the Lord anyway? 

What it Really Means to Remember

In modern English, we often use the word "remember" synonymously with "recollection." We talk about remembering when we recall an answer from the multiplication table, recall a physics equation in order to pass a test, recall a person’s name we met earlier that day, or recall the dates of your kids' birthdays.

This form of remembering, or simple recollection, is merely bringing a piece of information back into conscious awareness from our mental hard drives. It’s information retrieval, not the Biblical meaning of remembrance.

In the Bible, particularly in the Old Testament, the Hebrew word most associated with remembering is Zakar. The word zakar, and the concept of remembering, means focusing (or re-focusing) one’s attention on something in order to act.

• In Genesis 8 and 9, God remembered Noah and the animals during the flood and acted to cause the waters to recede. Later, God vowed to remember his covenant with Noah.
• In Exodus 20, God commanded his people to remember the sabbath; not just to recall its definition but to keep it.
• In Job 36, Elihu encourages Job to remember to extol God’s works.
• In Psalm 25, the Psalmist asks God to remember His great mercy.
• In Jeremiah 31, God promises to remember the sins of his people no more.
• In Luke 1, Zachariah praises God for remembering his holy covenant with Abraham.

To remember is to bring our full attention toward something of value and to act in accordance with that focus. Psalm 78 tells us that, as parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, pastors, and mentors, our job is to teach the next generation who God is and what He has done.

We need to help the next generation to zakar (remember) the Lord and not forget Him. But how can we teach what we do not know ourselves? And how can we claim to know what we do not practice? In order to help our children, we must first remember for ourselves. 

The biblical definition of remembering implies action. Remembering who God is and what He has done is not simply a matter of recalling facts. It is a commitment to act upon that truth in obedience. Passive worry leads to spiritual paralysis and atrophy. Active obedience leads to true spirituality. James 1:22 warns us to not only be hearers of the Word but to do what it says! If the things we know don’t act themselves out in our lives, then we have deceived ourselves. 

Living Out Zakar

How do we live this out in our ordinary days? Start by remembering for yourself who God is and what He has done, both in Scripture and in your own life. Then let your knowledge be put into action. Intentional instruction will not overcome the poor role modeling of parents who don’t live out their faith.

Next, be intentional with your kids and the activities you participate in as a family. Family devotional time, family prayer, family worship, and family service are some great ways to teach your children who God is, what He's done, and what He cares about. These practices are also great ways to give your kids concrete examples of what remembering God looks like and how to build it into your everyday life. 

As I write this, I realize how poorly I’ve lived up to my calling at times. Parenting is hard enough, even without the added weight of the spiritual component. Often, it can be hard to know how to deal with all the challenges and rightly prioritize what we should focus on to raise up our kids to love and serve the Lord.

But keep in mind that “faithfulness is not theologically complicated.” No parent is perfect, but we can still be faithful in our duty to do the simple things that help us remember the Lord and to teach our children to remember in turn.