If Christ is Alive, Why Isn't My Life Changing?

Being a parent has taught me a lot about fruit.

I’ve learned that frozen blueberries are an incredible breakfast staple. I finally know why the banana went to the doctor (he wasn’t peeling well). And I discovered that bell peppers are technically fruits. The real lesson here is in the bell peppers, because they show that fruit can be deceiving.

Let me explain. As a parent, I want the best for my children. But the fruits my wife and I hope to see in their lives don’t always align with what we actually experience. I see this most clearly in my three-year-old son. Every week at life group, the other kids scatter to the backyard. They run, play, and laugh. And they do their best to include my son.

But he just stands at the back door, watching.

I’ve tried everything to get him outside. I’ll run out there with him, which works great...until I try to slip back inside. I’ll give him a script of what to say to the other kids—something brilliant and nuanced like “Hi.” I’ll point out that kids younger than him are out there playing. But nothing works. We’ve encouraged, we’ve shown up, we’ve set an example. And yet, a year later, things look mostly the same as they did the year before.

I think we all experience that in our spiritual lives at some point. We serve Christ, we give, we genuinely try to follow him. And yet, at some point, we wonder why things seem the same as they were before. Where’s the fruit of this new life?

If Christ is alive, why isn’t my life changing?

What’s Really Important

In Colossians 1, Paul writes:

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people—the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace. You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our behalf, and who also told us of your love in the Spirit. Colossians 1:3–8

Paul thanks God not just for the Colossians themselves, but for what the gospel is producing in them: faith and love. These aren’t self-generated qualities. They’re fruit that grows naturally wherever the hope of the gospel takes hold.

Sometimes the tangible fruits we look for in our lives don’t align with the seeds we’re trying to plant. But what if, in focusing on the results we expect, we miss what God’s actually doing?

Each week when my son stood at that door, watching the other kids play, I felt like I was failing him. But he didn’t feel that way. He wasn't experiencing my disappointment; he was experiencing my presence and love.

And something is growing in him because of that. It’s very possible that my metric of fruit in his life (playing outside with the other kids) isn’t the best indicator of growth. Because he clearly has grown in the past year, even if he’s still reserved.

My calling was never to get him to play outside. That's between him and God and his journey of growing up. My calling is to be there and love him well, whether I can measure my impact or not.

Our Calling

So maybe the question isn’t “Why isn’t my life changing?” Maybe it’s “Am I looking for the right kind of fruit?” Paul didn’t thank God for dramatic stories or visible life improvements. He thanked Him for faith and love, because those are the signs that the gospel has taken root.

The gospel is our hope, secured by the resurrection of Christ. And wherever that hope takes hold, it produces something real: a growing trust in Jesus and a growing love for others.

That kind of fruit doesn’t always look impressive. It doesn’t always show up the way we expect. But it’s the fruit that really matters. And if you belong to Christ, it’s already growing in you.