How You Can Have Joy Even If You're Waiting to Have Kids
Joy doesn't have to be elusive. We can have it even when life isn't what we'd envision it should be.
What do you think of when you hear the phrase, “Eat, drink, and be merry”?
For me, it conjures up the image of a host of gladiators heading off to the colosseum. Knowing there’s a great possibility of their impending death, one of them raises a huge silver chalice and shouts, “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die!”
It also brings to mind Isaiah 22, where the prophet uses this phrase as a rebuke to the people of Israel. They were so distracted by the fleeting pleasures of life that they failed to recognize the crisis surrounding them.
Yet when we turn to Ecclesiastes 9:7, we find a very different tone:
“Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.”
This verse isn’t encouraging us to live carelessly or to ignore life’s weighty matters. Instead, it’s an invitation to live with deep gratitude right where we are, in what we’re doing, and in whose hands we belong.
Too often we treat joy as something elusive, always waiting for the next milestone. Just as children believe happiness only comes on birthdays or Christmas, we as adults can assume joy will arrive only when life finally falls perfectly into place. However, in Ecclesiastes, we see a reminder that life is short, and we should find joy in the moments at hand.
Adoption Can Be Tough
My husband and I are currently in the adoption process, and it has stretched our patience in new ways.
It’s tempting to think life will only feel full when the children come or when the paperwork is finalized. But I’ve found my perspective changes completely when my prayers sound more like, “Lord, thank You for this adoption process we’re in. Thank You that the waiting deepens our longing to be parents. Thank You for ordering our steps toward the exact children You want us to have.”
It can feel a little forced in the moment, but it is a constant reminder to my heart that I am consciously choosing joy in the moment. It is all too easy to see the negatives and worry about the long term instead of enjoying the moments of excitement and joy along the way.
I’ve also noticed that gratitude for the small things helps me stay content through bigger challenges. Finding joy in my favorite meal or my morning cup of coffee fills my heart with a contentment that overflows into my relationships, my work, and my ministry.
Romanticize Your Life
While the modern phrase “romanticize your life” is catchy, the principle itself is thoroughly biblical. Paul called it “counting it all joy” (James 1:2), even in trials. The psalmist urged us to “rejoice in the Lord always” (Psalm 118:24). And David reminded us to “be glad in the Lord and rejoice” as we trust in His provision (1 Chronicles 16:27).
All three point us to the same truth: joy does not come from perfect circumstances, but from recognizing God’s hand in our everyday lives and receiving His blessings with gratitude.
So how do we actually find pleasure in life’s simple moments? The answer is tucked in the latter part of Ecclesiastes 9:7, which says, “For God has already approved what you do.”
When I submit my life to Him, my plans, finances, and relationships, I can rest in His leadership and discover joy in the present. With that perspective, even ordinary moments become extraordinary. A meal with friends, a scenic walk, or a long wait in a difficult process all become opportunities to celebrate God’s goodness.
And that is the heart of Ecclesiastes 9:7: to live each day with gratitude, joy, and confidence in the God who, as James 1:17 reminds us, is the giver of every good and perfect gift.
